Due to the extremely cold and icy conditions and regional flooding of LOUISIANA game lands this past winter and early spring, breeding populations of most game animals are far below the normal limits for the upcoming hunting season. Therefore, the hunting of deer, rabbit, pheasant wild turkey, squirrels, bear, raccoon, and bobcat WILL NOT be permitted in the state of Louisiana during the 09-10 hunting seasons. However, Governor Bobby Jindal has provided by special decree, a substitute game animal to be hunted in order for the state not to lose license revenues and for hunters not to lose their woodland skills.
Effective September 1, 2009 thru June 1, 2010 there will be an open season on porch monkeys (UNEMPLOYUS AFRICANAS) occasionally known as jigaboos, saucer lips, shines, jungle bunnies, spooks, ******, shadows, spear chuckers, bluegums, coons, deuces, spades, critters, blackies, splibs, tar babies and moon crickets.
The following regulations will be enforced:
1. Hunters may not hunt in parties of more than 50.
2. No single hunter may use more than 20 dogs.
3. There will be no hunting in areas considered to be game reserves such as welfare offices, food stanp distribution centers, liquer stores, Cadillac dealerships, pork rib sections of meat markets, ghettos or arenas where professional basketball is played.
4. Traps may not be baited with pork chops, fried chicken, collard greens, watermelon, cheap whiskey, Ripple wine or Air Jordan athletic shoes.
5. No more than 5 grams of crack cocaine are allowed to be used as bait per day, per hunter.
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